This week while coaching a few clients through their “commitment issues”, I realized that I’m in the business of change. I’m in the business of supporting others in changing. But for most people (including myself) change is not always easy. Even when you think you WANT the change.
Change pushes your comfort buttons, threatens the status quo (even when the status quo is undesirable), and can rock the boat of close relationships.
I remember when I knew I needed to change my eating habits if I was going to stop suffering. Even with knowing this, it still took a lot of support and some time before I could begin to commit to the changes.
After all, feeling good was not familiar, I wanted it, yet was afraid of the unknown.
The important thing to remember is that change is inevitable – It WILL happen, it’s universal law. By not creating change in my own habits, I was actually supporting the undesirable change of feeling worse by the day.
So, if change is indeed inevitable, I invite you to explore this:
Why not CREATE or allow the change you DO want, rather than resisting the change you don’t want, which causes suffering and often makes you feel like a powerless victim.
Conscious change (change that you allow, initiate or create) is where you can find peace. Peace with your body, your mind, your relationships, your life.
It’s also the ONLY place you’ll grow and expand into the being you came here to be. And no matter what “bigger” things you came here to be or do, your expanded self is healthy, inspired, empowered, beautiful, prosperous, confident happy and and able to stay strong with the ups and downs of life.
In this state you are connected to your purpose, in the flow and able to bring into your life just about anything you want.
And here’s where commitment comes into the picture.
We often talk about committing to a marriage, a job, a project, a contract, parenthood, etc. But when was the last time you commited to yourself?
I mean really committed. I’m not talking about willpower, forcing or struggle, but I AM talking about change. Because in committing to what is best for you moving forward, you will most likely need to let go of old habits and unravel old conditioning.
There is also a certain amount of discipline in commitment. The word “discipline” might sound like punishment, but in healthy, spacious, loving discipline there is total freedom.
When you can see that the “discipline” of eating healthy foods and doing good to your body is actually where you achieve the freedom to really feel good (which can be a little scary if your used to feeling bad), it’s all down hill from there! ♥
If the glow of your New Year’s resolutions have started to fade, and you now find yourself wallowing in guilt for falling off the wagon, I want to offer 3 steps to inspired commitment for creating the change you want without (groan) willpower.
Three steps to committing to conscious/inspired change:
- Connect with your desires. I mean your deep down “gotta have it” desires. Losing 10 pounds is not necessarily a desire because it lacks emotion and inspiration, right? Confidently walking into a room (whether it’s a party or an important meeting) feeling svelte and invincible in your favorite dress IS a desire. Take some time to really connect with your desires, allow yourself some time and space to go deep. It can help sometimes to keep asking yourself “Why?”
- Commit to consistent action from an inspired place for at least 30 days – not your whole life, not even for a year, just 30 days. New habits generally take about 3-4 weeks to become new pathways in the brain, so by committing for 30 days you make it easy for yourself down the road. Also, by telling yourself you only need to commit for 30 days, the inner rebel doesn’t freak out so much or feel threatened. You can tell the inner rebel that it can have its way after 30 days if it’s really putting up a fight.
- Expect the best. OK, so if you’re feeding your action with heartfelt desire, keep expecting that desired outcome. Spend some time daily (ideally first thing in the morning and right as you drift off to sleep) to see, feel, taste and smell your desired outcome. If you expect it, it can’t help but happen. Also, your expectation will dictate how easily you stick with the action. Do you see how all three of these steps keep feeding the others.
As you practice these 3 steps, please let me know how it goes by leaving a comment below!
One of the easiest ways to start the inspired commitment ball rolling is to get support and find a “tribe”. My upcoming Spring Rejuvenation Retreat includes 4-days of healthy inspiration with daily yoga, meditation, healthy food, wellness lectures and so much more. You will have the chance to immerse yourself in a healthy lifestyle at a very affordable price. Learn more here.